there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
