Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
