I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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