day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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