Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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