I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
