I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Vodka?
Forever.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
