Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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