i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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