I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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