Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
