what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He felt like a one man threesome
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
