Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize