She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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