do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
