why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize