Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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