Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
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like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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