i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
