Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
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I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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