I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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