Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I look better un-naked...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
