Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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