You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
