Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
