That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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