I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
