If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
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Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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