My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize