I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
