i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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