i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
