if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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