So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
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I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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