Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
