Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
