Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
