I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this just has baby written all over it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
