So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
