I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
