garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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