just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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