Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
