i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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