He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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