I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think a kid would responsible me up
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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