Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
