How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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