she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
