your thong is hanging out like whoa
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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