Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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