I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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