Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
