Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
