I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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