I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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