so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
