I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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