conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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