On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
