hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
