I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
