I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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