That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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