at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
